Fixer Upper (Jackunzel Parody)

"Fixer Upper"
(A Big Four/Jackunzel parody of the song from Disney's "Frozen" of the same title)

Tooth:
What is the problem, Punz? Why are you holding back from such a guy?
(singing) Is it the limpy way he walks?

Jack:
What?

North:
Or the raspy way he talks?

Jack:
Hey!

Merida:
Or the oddly constant bareness of his feet?

Jack:
What are we doing, here?

 

Bunny:
And even though he gets jobs done, he's

Always tryin' to be funny

All:
But you'll never meet anybody who's this sensitive and sweet

Jack:
Since when do you guys sing?

All:

Sure, he's a bit of a fixer upper

He's got a few kinks

Jack:
Real funny, guys

Hiccup:

Like his thing with the stick, Punz

Merida:
Great for kicking some horse buns

All:
But looks like it belongs on a hockey rink

Jack:
How is that even relevant?

Girls:

He's just a bit of a fixer upper

But this we're certain of

All:
You can fix up this fixer upper

With a little bit of love

 

Jack:
Can we just stop talking about this? We've got an actual serious problem here.

Tooth:
I'll say. So tell me Punz...

Is it the way that he flies scared?

Bunny:
Or that he's romantically impaired?

Sophie:
Or that his one and only friend's a piece of wood?

Jack:
OK, that hurts.

North:
Are you holding back your fondness  

due to his snowy white blondeness?

Girls:
Or that he falls for every kind of girl both bad and good?

Jack:
That's literally never happened before.

 

Girls:
He's just a bit of a fixer upper

Boys:
He's got a couple of dents

Jack:
Oh, you guys should talk

 

Girls:
Like he tends to half bake it

Boys:
And some people take it

All:
The wrong way

Even though that's not what he meant

Jack:
You guys are making this up

All:
Sure he's a bit of a fixer upper

But we know what to do

The way to fix up this fixer upper is to fix him up with you

(Jack slams his staff down, icing the floor and sending a gust of wind to halt everything)

Jack:
Enough! She's married to someone else, OK?

(beat)

Bunny:
So she's a bit of a fixer upper

North:
That is minor thing

Hiccup:
Her quote 'happy marriage' is no horse and carriage

Tooth:
And by the way, I don't see a ring

 

All:
So she's a bit of a fixer upper, her brain's a bit betwixt

Get old what's his name out of the way

and the thing will be fixed

Tooth:
We're not saying you can change him

Cause heaven knows he'll never change

We're only saying he deserves a chance

Even if he seems strange

Sure he's made bad choices in the past, but I digress

Just throw a little love his way

Girls:
Throw a little love his way

Tooth:
And you'll bring out his best

Girls:
True love brings out the best

All:
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper

That's what it's all about

North:
Father!

Merida:
Sister!

Bunny:
Brother!

All:
We need each other

To shape us up and round us out

We're all a bit of a fixer upper

but when push comes to shove

Eugene:
The only fixer upper fixer

that can fix a fixer upper is

All:
True! True!

True, true, true!

Love (True love)

Love, love, love, love, love

Love! (True love)

True...LOVE!!!